That's good. There are so many things that could be held against him, and most of them are ugly. They get uglier and more regrettable by the day.

"A girl was in training. A child." It's not going to be Rey until he allows himself to accept this connection. Acceptance comes with a lot of baggage. "She wasn't old enough to understand any but the most rudimentary lessons."

He's saying this like it's all new information to him. It is and it isn't. He wants to stop talking about it entirely.