Of course Han's death would have mattered on its own. Ben hasn't realized the extend to which his father gave him time to exist outside of the pressures of the force, but he did. He taught him how to fix things and how to pilot. He told him stories that weren't about the great Skywalker legacy or the endless battle of light against dark. With Han, Ben didn't need to be the next great Jedi knight who would help restore balance to the universe; he could be a person instead of a symbol of hope and renewal.

His father was his strongest tie to a world beyond the force and the war being waged inside of him. He still is.

Ben wishes he could be small again so he could, just for a moment, let his father hide him from powers and destinies and all of the years of fear and anger that anchored him to the dark side. That sense of safety that Han gave him when he was a frightened child is gone, maybe forever. Many things have been lost beyond hope of retrieval. Hopefully, Ben Solo won't be one of them.

He composes himself when Han pulls away.

"I have." What a ridiculous question. "What would you like me to do?"