garbageship | CAPTAIN'S LOG: Starda-- wait, wrong franchise--

[She did see the hint. She just chose to do the opposite.] Do you want to just skip to the part where you tell me what's wrong?

[Rey is avoidant, but she isn't coy. She runs away from her problems, but it's not in her nature to pretend that they don't exist. So while some may have tried to brush off Kitty's comment with an answer about the ship, Rey jumps straight to the heart of the matter.]

I can't believe you're letting him get that close to you. Not after everything he's done.

[Of course, it's also easier to be honest with her head still buried in the Falcon's innards, where she doesn't have to see Kitty's face.]

[Kitty can believe it. Not her first time, and it does bother her. She wanted Kylo to get close to her but not the reverse. That's just not how it worked. She can't really deny she's starting to care about him. But she tells herself it's a lot less close than she was to Tyki at least. But maybe there is something more intimate in the turn of a hand than in really hot wall sex.]

What has he done?

[It's not a challenge. She knows he's done things, but aside from trying to kill Han they are largely abstract and assumed to her. He's probably killed. He's probably ordered deaths. He's been complicit at the very least in the destruction of a star system. They are big things, but distant. And for Rey this seems personal. She was his prisoner. What happened?]

[...did she seriously ask that? Rey pulls her head out so she can give Kitty a completely dumbfounded look.]

You were there when he tried to kill his own father. You're the only reason Han's still alive! [The sin of patricide strikes Rey to her very core; she would give anything to have her father swoop in to rescue her like Han did. ]

He kidnapped me and tried to break into my mind so that he can find and murder his own uncle and force everyone under the hell of the First Order! He's evil.

[That's when she finally notices the bruises around Kitty's neck, and her expression gets even darker.] Did he do that to you?

[Kitty is taking that in. Of course she remembers Han. She can't get back to sleep because of it. And the kidnapping too. It's the breaking into her mind part. Kitty has had people in her mind before. As long as they don't rearrange the furniture she usually just lets them be. Almost...likes the intimacy of it. But that's her choice and having your thoughts invaded is a very different sort of thing.

Reflecting on this, Rey's question confuses Kitty for a moment until she sees where her gaze is falling. She lifts a hand up to lightly touch it as if she'd forgotten. She hadn't. It hurts a little to swallow, so hard to forget.]

Shortly after he woke up.

And you're still cozying up to him?!

[The woman must be insane. That's the only explanation for why she would willingly get close to the maniac who tried to kill her. Rey's fist clenches, and she has to force herself to relax, remind herself that beating the crap out of Kylo won't do anyone any good. (But that bruise around Kitty's neck has been added to her list of Kylo's many crimes.)]

How is that any of your business? [The defensive can come on fast. That's not what she wants to be doing right now, but her eyes narrow at the accusation because of how well it hits. Not because of her neck exactly. She doesn't really take attacks personally at least not in the context she got this one. A special kind of dysfunction you may find around a lot of people in her industry if a single one of them existed here. But because she didn't mean to get close. She just wanted to help coax him back, not get attached in the process.]

Hey, you're the one who approached me! You asked what I thought! You can't blame me if that's not what you want to here!

I'm trying to help him! He's Han's son. Do you think being a dick to him is going to make him want to chill out?

Holding his hand, letting him touch you, letting him get close to you, isn't going to change him. He made his choice a long time ago, and now he's stuck with it. We are all stuck with it. I understand that Han wants to think the best of his son, but I never expected you to be such a fool.

It is changing him. People can change! [She says this last part with some extra emphasis even though someone refused to italicize the entire sentence. The thing with "people" is that it includes herself.]

A few days without killing anyone or threatening people don't mean he's changed! [Kitty's passionate defense disgusts her even more than the sight of them cuddling. Rey understands that physical attraction doesn't always obey the laws of common sense, but there hasn't been enough time for Kylo to genuinely change, assuming genuine change is even possible.]

I've felt his mind. The darkness goes deep in him. It is a part of who he is, and he likes it. He wants to be darker. Do you know who his hero is? Darth Vader. [Forgetting that Kitty possibly doesn't know who that is.]

Any "change" you see is him manipulating you. When it suits him, he will betray you.

He wants to stop being in pain, and he doesn't know how.

I know it takes time. And I don't know who Darth Vader is or if Ben will betray me. I just know he has a better shot at this if we support him instead of fighting against him! [Just saying everything very emphatically here. It's definitely a raised voices conversation.]

[No, he REVELS in pain, Rey wants to snap back, but she doesn't argue with lunatics; it's a waste of time and energy.]

I think you should go now.

[Her fists tighten and her brow crinkles, but she stops short of doing anything physically aggressive. It doesn't make the words that come next kind.]

Why are you even still here?

[They're angry, jealous things that she doesn't really mean. She has felt a little...replaced by Rey. Another girl about her age who is good with the tech—better when it comes to this ship for now at least, and who Han seems connected to in a matter of hours? Days? She'd been with them for months! She even has powers now too and they had both lost their families. And while all of this sounds like it should be the makings of a fast friendship with lots to share and connect about, Kitty has always had some trouble with people who were a lot like her but also...better. Not killers. No blood on their hands like hers. She can't even really know that about Rey. It's an insecurity and she projects it especially when she's stressed out and emotionally vulnerable and running on fumes.

With the words dropped, she turns to go.]

[Even their insecurities match. Rey knows she's not needed on this ship. Kitty's plenty good as a mechanic; she's known Han for longer and, most importantly, she doesn't hate Han's son.]

I won't be for long.

[She doesn't shout it, doesn't even care if Kitty hears her or not. It's a reminder to herself not to get attached; once they reach the Resistance base, they will be going their separate ways. She's only a minor character in this story.]

CAPTAIN'S LOG: Starda-- wait, wrong franchise--

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