garbageship | That's no moon... Wait, no, it's a moon.

"I did what I thought was necessary." No, Ben, that isn't how being sorry works. It's not entirely true, either; he had been charged with retrieving the droid, not the girl. His personal interest in Rey was what drove him to do it; the thought that she would have the information that Snoke wanted was secondary.

Letting his personal goals interfere with his orders. Maybe Snoke's hold had never been that complete.

"Yeah, so probably no time soon then." She's not surprised by that response. She can't even bring herself to be disappointed in it. Maybe another week or three will change either his answer or her disappointment.

That was clearly the wrong answer. Let him add something that will make it truer, if not better: "I thought that I knew her."

"You..." She looks at him curiously, not having expected that answer and not sure what it means. "Did you?"

"Yes, I do." He sounds certain in spite of his frown. No elaboration is forthcoming. Sorry if that was something that was expected.

"How? From where? I thought she just lived on Jakku."

"Not always. She was left there when she was a child." He pulled that from her mind. Rey didn't know who abandoned her and he can only think of so many ways to explain a force-sensitive girl who seems familiar and would have been dumped on an out-of-the-way planet when she was four or five.

There are a lot of things that happened then that he doesn't remember well.

"She told you that?" This doesn't seem likely. "You went into her mind? Forced your way in?" It feels like a bad pun.

"I interrogated her." So yes. This is one of those things that they haven't talked about, isn't it? "She turned it on me. It was the first time that had happened."

He sounds a little impressed. Rey-related feelings remain complicated.

"It's invasive pushing your way into someone's mind." And it sounds like they'd done it to one another. Not that she'd fault Rey for it in the situation. But it would make finding peace hard. Tearing someone open mentally and making them vulnerable like that could be unforgivable.

"So how did you know her then? As a child?"

"It is," he admits, and he finds himself regretting it. Not just with Rey specifically, but with the many prisoners he had interrogated for Snoke and the First Order. He hadn't invaded their minds gently. It's an unpleasant experience to be on the receiving end of. "Thoughts can be hidden, but if you're untrained or taken by surprise..."

Very few things remain a secret.

He's still incredibly evasive on the topic of how he knows Rey, and not just to Kitty. His mind doesn't want to rest too long on the subject. "I knew a girl when I was training." If it wasn't her, then his feelings and the universe are playing a trick that isn't at all funny.

She's not going to start holding specific things from his past against him now when he's opening up to her. They won't always be easy to hear, but every day he gets a little further from the person who committed them. The fact he can agree that it's invasive is something. If she knew he even regretted it that would be so much more.

"Rey was in training?" Is that what he's saying? "I thought she didn't even know she had this power."

That's good. There are so many things that could be held against him, and most of them are ugly. They get uglier and more regrettable by the day.

"A girl was in training. A child." It's not going to be Rey until he allows himself to accept this connection. Acceptance comes with a lot of baggage. "She wasn't old enough to understand any but the most rudimentary lessons."

He's saying this like it's all new information to him. It is and it isn't. He wants to stop talking about it entirely.

"You thought Rey was this girl? Or she reminded you of her?" She pushes for a connection not realizing how difficult it will be for Ben to make it. Her thumb rubs gently over the back of Ben's hand, just reminding him she's there for him.

"She feels like her." That's it, that's as far as he's willing to go. His grip on her hand tightens urgently. "That's all I know."

"Hey." The word comes softly and she uses the unattached hand to gently rub his arm. "It's okay. You're okay, Ben." She wants to ask more questions, but that grip tells her it's not the time.

He eases up on her hand—she might need it later—and turns his thoughts away from Rey. They were having a nice time before she came up, weren't they?

"I should go see my father." The way that he doesn't let go of her hand or make any move to go suggests that this isn't a thing he wants to do. Staying here with Kitty, unable to do much more than hold hands, isn't that appealing, either. He might forget himself and hug her.

He might not get the chance. When she sees his lack of momentum toward Han she reaches up to coax him into another hug. People might be watching, but she doesn't care. Sometimes a person just needs a hug and she's not going to ignore that in someone she cares about. "Thank you for telling me." She could tell it wasn't easy for him.

"I didn't tell you much." But he's not going to reject a hug when he's craving some additional closeness. He wraps his arms around her securely and rests his head on hers.

"You told me what you could." She rubs his back hoping to relax away some of the tension in his body.

There's only so much relaxing that can be done when you're on a moon for the purpose of leaning how to survive in a largely hostile universe. He does all of it and wonders if he would have nightmares if Kitty stayed with him when he was sleeping.

It's a dumb thing to think of when there are so many other things to worry about.

"Someone could see us." Does he care? He doesn't.

"We aren't doing anything wrong." She is going to hold him as long as he needs and wants her to. It's what she'd do if she'd never kissed him too. Even if she'd never wanted to kiss him.

That is true and inarguable, so he hugs her tight and leans on the support that she's offering until he feels steady again. He hasn't done anything in his life to deserve this—not from Kitty and not from his father—but he can't stop wanting it and taking it.

Eventually, he does let go. "Thank you."

"Sure." Looking him in the eyes again. "And you can always tell me more if you want to." Her hand rests gently on his cheek for a moment before slowly slipping away.

"I will." Meeting her eyes. Maybe he won't say anything else about Rey—not until he understands that better himself—but he'll talk to her. She's easy to talk to.

The part of his face that she touched feels a little too warm after she leaves.

He goes to meet his father.

That's no moon... Wait, no, it's a moon.

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