garbageship | WHO'S FLYING THIS THING?!

Oh. Right. [For a second, she had forgotten her purpose. She's strangely disappointed to be brought back to it; she would've liked to hear stories about the people he's talked to and the places he's heard of. Stories were as important as food and water in keeping her alive on Jakku.]

I wanted to get your advice. I know we're going to need money at some point to continue our journey [among other things] and I was wondering ... how do you get it?

[Putting it that way makes her sound like an idiot.] I mean, you get a job, obviously. [Six different languages and she still can't find the right way to phrase her question.] But, I mean, the only job I've ever had was scavenging for scrap metal and I was paid in bread rations. And obviously there are other jobs out there. So how do you get them? [Ugh she still sounds like a complete idiot. ]

[Well, there's one good reason to stick around.

The question takes him by surprise, mostly because the idea doesn't take him surprise. It's half of why he's looking at maps; finding a place to refuel will be easy enough, but a place that might have work they could handle without too much fuss is a little trickier. They need to stay under the radar, and it's probably better if they don't lean on the Republic more than they have to. It's the kind of thing Han used to be very good at, but the stakes are too high to be careless.]

Have you... [Yeah, he doesn't want to ask, but he's got to.] Did you talk to Ben about finding work?

[It's just, Chewbacca wouldn't have mentioned it and he hasn't talked to Kitty yet. He'd be surprised to learn she spoke with his son about anything, but if not, why is she bringing it up?]

[Rey looks at him, genuinely puzzled.]

Why would I talk to your son about finding work? [She's not looking for a career in mass murder.]

[Anyone can change their line of work. If you can go from being a drug-runner to a war hero you can go from a war hero to a smuggler. Those are both upward moves.

Never mind that, though. He shakes his head.]

Then why are you asking?

[Isn't it obvious?]

We're going to need money for parts. And fuel. And food. [Not to mention her own project.] I want to help.

Don't worry. We're not hard up yet.

[He's trying to be reassuring, not dismissive.]

That's part of why I want you all to learn to shoot. But you know, you'll have people looking for you.

I'd rather know what to do before we're hard up. Maybe avoid the "hard up" part altogether. [Everything else aside, she really likes this whole "three square meals" thing they have going on, and food that isn't just instant bread.]

[Of course she worries. She can't have had much stability on Jakku; he knows that sort of world well enough to guess how she must have been treated. The people in power further out toward the rim guard it jealously, and care little for the wellbeing of those they use for it.]

You have a plan in mind I oughta know about?

[Where did that question come from? Did Kitty tell him about their conversation?]

I just want to do my part.

[She won't lie if he asks her outright, but she's not going to jump at that vague invitation. Besides which, her wanting t to know how to make money isn't just for striking out on her own. Like she said, food and fuel and equipment cost money, and she wants to help make sure they always have plenty of all three.]

[Now and then his intuition pays off. Even a broken chronometer is right once a day.]

I can't send you out looking. There are gonna be spies pretty much anywhere we land, and they'll know your face.

[If it's any consolation, he and Chewie are even more easily identifiable.]

Isn't that true for all of us? Including the ship?

[Okay, Kitty is probably not as well known. And who knows if anyone knows Kylo Ren's actual face. But still. He can't expect her to just remain on the ship all the time except for occasional trips to empty moons.]

The ship is kind of a problem. We'll figure it out.

[Kitty has less of a record than anyone-- she's not even from this universe-- and he agrees with Ben that they won't risk publicizing his face too widely.]

Welcome to life with a bounty on your head.

[She crosses her arms and scowls.]

You managed to get work when you had a bounty on your head. You didn't just hide inside the ship.

Yeah, but I was pretty small time.

[So, congratulations? You're on your way to being a Jedi with all the attendant mortal terror and dangerous people wanting you dead or worse.]

Are you saying the ship doesn't keep you busy enough?

[He cracks a grin.]

I don't believe Han Solo was ever small time. I mean, you travel with Chewbacca. [Who the Wookie traders she learned their stories from made out to be some kind of godlike epic figure.

The brief moment of humor passes.]

I feel like I'm suffocating in here. [She loves the Falcon, loves being in space, but she's getting cabin fever and it's not the kind that can be treated with visits to isolated moons. She can happily go for months without talking to a single creature, but being cooped up with the same four people is a special kind of torture ... especially when she can't stand one of them.]

[That way of putting it is... Strange. Okay. Han is not used to feeling like the bit part in his own life. He and Chewie have always been equal partners in all their stupid endeavors, more or less. But she doesn't mean anything unkind, so he just lets it pass.]

You do get used to it. Eventually. [Even if all you ever wanted was off a planet it takes a while to adjust. There's a world of difference between seeing the sky and seeing nothing but sky. He's not unsympathetic. He's quiet a moment.]

Do you still want to go back to Jakku?

No. [It comes out vehemently, because she hates that stupid awful planet and the petty squalid life she lived there.

And yet, in the next moment, she feels an equally desperate desire to say Yes. At least she would have some room to breathe, space away from people and the complicated feelings she isn't able to process in the tightly confined ship. And despite what Maz told her, a part of her is still terrified that her family will go back to Jakku for her, but she won't be there. A small portion of her heart insists that, if Han came back for his son, then surely her mother will come back for her. If Han can overcome all the problems that drove him and his son apart, her mother can overcome whatever reasons she had to leave Rey behind.]

Maybe. I don't know.

[She knows the universe isn't fair, but she feels like, if she accepts being completely abandoned by her family while Kylo Ren the mass murderer gets to enjoy the love of his, she'll break.]

I don't think it's ever gonna be safe for you there.

[He says that as gently as he possibly can. It's not about keeping her or being rid of her, it's not about his worry that fear and anger will lead her down a bad path. Right now it's just a simple fact: they are always going to be watching that planet. He doesn't think there will be anyone showing up searching for her anyway, but it'd be insult to injury saying it. They're both aware of it.

What he can offer as an alternative feels inadequate. A family of sorts that isn't (unless it is. But that's a suspicion for another day). The problem is he gets why she doesn't want to stick that close to them, to Ben. Because in her mind he isn't Ben, and maybe he never will be.]

I want to help. You know that, right?

[She blinks back tears.]

I know.

[It would be easier if he didn't. She's used to dealing with cruelty and indifference; that was her life on Jakku. She didn't have to care about anybody because nobody cared about her.

But Han and the others do, and she wants so desperately to please them, to prove herself worthy of their regard so they don't leave her. She knows she's a disappointment, because she can't accept "Ben Solo." Any day now they'll give up on her.

She turns around so he can't see the tears she hastily wipes away. There's no point getting upset over the inevitable. She'll learn to live with it the way she's learned to live with everything else. As long as she can have even a small part in helping the Resistance destroy the First Order, her life won't be a waste.]

Hey.

[That's soft and worried, which is maybe not going to help this particular bout of turmoil. She might not be his kid but he kind of feels as responsible as if she was. And obviously he's doing just as bad a job of it as he did the first time around.]

Look, if you run off I'm gonna have to follow you and I promise there ain't a place to hide on this ship that I don't know about.

[The joke's about as gentle as he can make it. But, also, he means it.]

[For a moment, she thinks he's talking about her plan to leave — then she realizes he's talking about her running off this second. She tries to laugh and desperately wishes her eyes would stop leaking.]

I don't have anywhere to run to. [She tries to play it off as a joke, but it's terrifying to contemplate. She's never been anywhere she couldn't escape somehow.]

[If he knew, he'd mean that as well.]

So why don't you sit down and talk to me a while?

[She finally manages to get the waterworks to stop, and sits back at the table.]

We're already talking.

Sort of.

[Barely.]

I can't take you to Luke, either. I would if I could. We're gonna have to figure out what we can do.

[So, Rey, what is it you want?]

[Hey, this has been a deep, open, and honest conversation. By Rey's standards. Admittedly, she keeps pretty much everything very close to her chest.]

So far it sounds like my options are stay on this ship, stay on this ship, and stay on this ship.

[She sounds ... as bitter as she feels, but more bitter than she really wants to convey, which is why she immediately bites her tongue.

Then a thought occurs to her.]

What if I disguised myself?

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